Poland Syndrome

I'm ready to tell my story out loud. Poland syndrome is characterized by an underdeveloped or absent chest muscle on one side of the body, absence of the breastbone part of the chest muscle. The cause of Poland syndrome is not known. Treatment typically involves surgical correction of the chest wall deformities. In my case, my right chest wall is concave and my right breast is two cup sizes smaller than my left breast. I am a nineteen year old female, and I have Poland Syndrome. Wow! Typing that out felt so empowering, because I no longer let my imperfections control my life. I have felt the cold overbearing hand of society's ridiculous standards, I have experienced unimaginable psychological misery. I wouldn't wish that kind of torture on even my worst enemies.

I remember the first time I was made fun of for my birth defect. I was eleven years old and I went to one of my closest friends twelfth birthday party, and I remember her coming up to me and whispering, "your boobs don't look big enough, go stuff your bra. My brothers friends are here." No one knew I already had to stuff one side of my bra just to be symmetrical. Fast forward a bit, and we were playing hide-and-go-seek outside in the dark. I am running as fast as possible from the guy that was counting, he tags me with such a strong force that I tripped and rolled down the hill, along with my much appreciated Charmin ultra soft tissue. Everyone at my friend's birthday party saw the concave side of my body that I wanted so badly to keep a secret.

When I turned thirteen years old I was introduced to a very special place, Touching You. Touching You is run by a very special woman, Carol Warthen. She is the owner and a breast cancer survivor. Carol provides services for women in need of breast forms, wigs, specially made bathing suits, and other necessary items. I remember the acceptance I felt in the air when I walked in room. I was their youngest patient, I remember when she handed me a prosthetic breast form, and she told me to place it into my specially made bra, I turned around and looked at myself with such confidence. I was proud of the body the good Lord gave me. I always feel acceptance when I visit Touching You.

You never truly appreciate your own body until you find your confidence. As a woman I have always needed to feel beauty and I expected others to give me that, until I realized no one is going to love me like I can love myself. I came to the realization that I am me and nothing I do is going to change that. I am who I am for the rest of my life. I stopped worrying about the things I didn't like about myself and I turned my focus to the aspects of my life that I love. My life in the body I was given has not always been easy, but I truly believe that God created me the way he did for a purpose. God gave me this uncomfortable defect for me to turn it into my passion, and my passion is breast health. Until you stop dwelling on what isn't, you will always feel empty. My life has felt unfulfilled until I opened my ears and heart to God. God never makes mistakes, but he will put you on an unsteady path, but that is to make you stronger. Do not feel less beautiful because you were made differently.We are our own worst critics. No one knows your body better than yourself, and that can be a blessing and a curse.

Anne Lamott said, "To love yourself as you are is a miracle, and to see yourself is to have found yourself, for now. And now is all we have, and love is who we are. " Valerie Monroe said, "Real beauty isn’t about symmetry or weight or makeup; it’s about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own."

Appreciate your position, because when its time, your position is going to turn into your biggest blessing. If I could scream this from the rooftops in New York City, I would! Ladies, love yourself! Do not waste time trying to fix your imperfections, because to someone else, you're already perfect!